the diaries

WHEN DID YOU FIRST LEARN TO PLAY IT SMALL? (PT 1)

unicorn ascension, watercolour painting by Lady Rose 

unicorn ascension, watercolour painting by Lady Rose 

Today I woke up with that question in my head. So what happened? When did you first learn to play it small? Was it another child, a parent, a role model, an idol, a sibling? Who put your hand on the dimmer switch, told you you're better off playing it safe, playing it cool? 

Fuck that! You are a supreme light being sent from the corners of the universe to SHINE. 

For me it was the cool clique in dance class... or the cool clique in my homeschool group... or the cool clique in college... etc etc etc. I've always floated between many social groups and got along with lots of different types of people. The nerdy art kids, the cool music kids, the peacemakers, the renegades, the travelers... but one of the persistent themes with all of them is that I rarely if ever showed what I was really up to.

The magic, the art making, it all stayed stowed away in boxes marked "emotional cleansing." I shared my ideas and my judgments, never my creations and my vulnerabilities. I shared my theories and ideals, but never my regrets and hurts.

As my akashic guides & the ascended masters coach me on this turning point in my life, of taking a more public approach to my work, my writing, and my inner teachings, everything is changing. 

I used to think I had to have all the answers; to uphold some kind of ideal of Mastery in order to be an effective leader and teacher. Now I realize that it is in sharing our vulnerabilities that we have our greatest strength. Here's the kinds of things they tell me:

just your friendly neighborhood starseed <3

just your friendly neighborhood starseed <3

"ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE SEEN: the wounded warrior, the courageous warrior, it is in that that is your Grace. The True Flowering of Life within You. What is Sacred may also be painful... it is Sacred to be human..."

Now I realize the gifts and ideas and questions and answers that come through me are bigger than me, they serve a higher purpose, and it's keeping it all inside that is selfish, not expressing it. 

My quest now as a writer/teacher/speaker, author is to, every day, recommit to no longer surpressing my voice -- as I said to a friend recently, "Yes, I am a channel for angels, ascended masters, and all manners of weird and wild Akashic Guides and various planes of existence.... I'm also a 29-year-old girl on Tinder.".... :) I can hold all sorts of dichotomies now. Can others? That's up to them. But I'm no longer going to try to shrink myself down into a box that can you can label. I am labelless and undefinable, and so are you.

with love, Lady Rose xx