the diaries


I began leading Goddess events in 2014, as an outpouring of my own inner experiences of divine feminine healing. One in particular comes up often.

It’s summer 2015 and I’m bowing on my knees to the Goddess on the cold tile floor of my Bushwick apartment.  “May I take the form I am meant to take,” I prayed. At the time I thought this was a weight loss prayer -- I was carrying 50-60 pounds of excess weight from anti-depressant side effects and an emotional addiction to carb-loading--But now I realize it was more than that.

It was a prayer to embody my sovereign destiny, a prayer to dismiss all the holdings and inner judgments that were manifesting, in one form, as a body that was less mobile and less excited about life than I wished.

“May I take the form I am meant to take.”

A prayer to stop hiding, stop dimming my light, stop living at half-mast, leave behind comfort-foods and comfort-relationships and step beyond my edge -- where there was great power, wonder, and experience of true happiness.

Thanks to Mama Kali, vegetarianism and meditation, the pounds did leave me over the next two years. I take so much pride in my body now not simply as an object of desire, but in a sensual and spiritual way - this is my temple, and it IS the body of the Goddess, my totally unique piece of the juicy pie that is Gaia that I am borrowing for safekeeping until it returns to She in another 55 years or so (I will die at 84, according to a psychic I visited once on St. Mark’s Place).

I am here to embody my inner Goddess so you can embody yours. Together we embody the great Goddess and dance in the bliss of Oneness.

This isn't about beauty standards. It's about those of us that hold onto our emotional baggage in the form of extra weight. It's about how we hold ourselves back from living the lives we deserve.

We teach the medicine we need the most.

As mothers of a new paradigm, we hold the task of Clearing our womb-space from the shame and the well of untapped emotion that leads to our addictive and self-defeating behaviors. We must find healthy expressions, artistic and active destinations for our molten-lava anger and 10,000-league sadness. We bear the suffering of our ancestors, and they share with us their gifts. It is a sacred honor and using our sacred gifts of lightwork and multi-dimensional healing, we activate group portals of healing and goddess which ripples out into our families, communities, and the world.

We do not shy away from the darkest aspects of ourselves, no -- we USE it to alchemize our greatest fears into our greatest attributes. We understand the cosmic interplay of dark and light and we use it to our advantage. Not for selfish means, not to realize external success, but to understand and revolutionize the patterns of thinking that have dominated modern thought for centuries and kept us all from experiencing our true nature. We do it to revolutionize our care and keeping of Mother Earth -- and therefore, the care and keeping of our own bodies.

This is why I do Goddess Work.

Stepping onto the Goddess path, the Spiral path, Shakti Awakening, the Temple of Bliss that is YOUR SACRED HEART is an awakening like no other. It is not easy and it is not always light and breezy. (“Priestessin’ ain’t easy” has been my mantra this week after some particularly heavy-lifting this full moon.) It can be daunting, full of sacrifices and deep purgings. But it is so worth it. We must learn to trust, to surrender, to allow ourselves to take the form we are meant to take -- and then bravely BE THAT for all to see.

Wherever you come from, whatever your background is, whatever your ideals are, you are home here -- You are a “Sister of the Rose” and you WILL NOT FAIL.

My prayers for you:

May you find the TRUTH of your own body, the TRUTH that lays behind the self-sabotage, beyond the self-muting and self-minimizing and self-destruction that is keeping you comfortable. May you find the TRUE POWER that is your birthright, and LIVE it.

May you walk in the truth of your sovereign destiny.

May you take the form you are meant to take.

And so it is.


Lady Rose xx